Dad

I lost my dad in November.

I wasn't going to post anything about this tree, since I may have trespassed in order to propagate it.  I named it after him, however, so I feel like I should post it now.

When I was a kid, I remember riding by this tree on the school bus.  I remember seeing it in the 90s and wondering if someone could graft it.  This was long before I knew how to propagate conifers, so I didn't try.

I had largely forgotten about the tree until Dad told me about it about 10 years ago.  He and a friend had some car trouble right by the tree, and they noticed its unusual form.

It is a Western Larch, Larix occidentalis, of which there are only a couple of cultivars.  That winter, I got some scions and grafted it up.  Only one took, and it has been growing in my garden ever since. While the original is maybe 20 feet high, the one here is only about three feet high.  Last year the beavers felled a poplar onto it, breaking the leader.  I was able to train up a new leader, so it is still fine (if  a bit ugly at the moment.)

I named it after Dad because we both had a love of trees- conifers in particular.

I remember when I was six, Dad and I went for a walk in the woods behind our house.  I remember telling him that I had a favorite tree, and that I wanted to show it to him.  He told me that he already knew which one it was.  He was right- it was a Pinus monticola that lived behind our house in the woods.  The species had been severely impacted by the accidental introduction of White Pine Blister Rust in the first half of the 20th century.  Dad and I both had a love for that species. They are handsome trees- usually very straight with evenly spaced terraces of branches.  The needles are soft and blue, and the fragrance of the foliage and sap is pleasing.  On the property where I grew up, there were survivors of the plague.  Dad always spoke of them with a special reverence.

During the past 25 years, we planted thousands of tree seedlings on our property- many of which were Pinus monticola.  Because the species was once very commercially valuable for window and door frames, there were significant efforts made to breed disease-resistant strains.  The seedlings we planted were from those strains.  It is fun to watch the species re-establish itself in the forests on our property.

I wasn't able to help Dad plant seedlings during the past two years.  He continued to plant thousands- even in his 80s.  His commitment to the land and the future was strong, even though he knew he wouldn't' be around to see it.

Dad was always a source of strength and support for me.  He encouraged me through my career troubles in the past several years, and went with me on several ridiculous plant outings.

Things have been difficult since his passing.  I often find myself thinking about the time we got stuck in the snow a few years back.  I was scared and didn't know what to do.  I clearly remember him saying, "Well, we just have to keep digging" as he worked to get the truck unstuck.  I will never forget his calm and pragmatic attitude in the face of a very serious situation.  I will miss his wisdom and perspective.

Dad was a kid during the Great Depression.  His father had abandoned the family when he was young, and Dad went to work in a sawmill at 15 to help support the family.  His work ethic was legendary- they just don't make people like that anymore.  In the weeks since his passing, I've heard from many of his friends and acquaintances.  Everyone talks about what a crazy hard worker his was- and about his willingness to help other people out.

Growing up, I was raised to believe that you just helped people when they needed it.  If your neighbors needed help putting up hay or doing some work on their house- you just went and helped them.  In the future, they would do the same for you.  I feel that we are losing those values and social structures.  In remembrance of my dad, I would like to help keep those values alive.  I plan to volunteer more, and to help my neighbors and friends with more projects and work around their places.

The other way in which I want to further my Dad's legacy is by propagating this larch.  If you are a conifer person and are interested in scions, please let me know.  I want to share this tree far and wide to honor Dad's memory.

I expect it to slowly make its way out into the conifer trade.  Keep an eye out for Larix occidentalis 'Ray Griffith'.

Pending Variegation

     This summer, I happened to notice a single variegated leaf on one of the witch hazels in my garden.  The plant is Hammamelis X intermedia 'Diane', a hybrid with orange flowers.  

     It is odd to see a single variegated leaf like this.  Is it a virus?  If so, why hasn't it spread to other parts of the plant?  Is it a mutation?  If so, was it just the leaf that mutated- or is the auxiliary bud above the leaf also mutated?

     I've had similar mutations in my garden before, only to find that they burn in the sun, or are not stable.  My hope with this one is tempered with experience.  Next spring, I will prune that branch to the bud above that leaf, in the hopes that the variegation will continue.  As I'm typing this, I realize that I need to mark that bud so that I remember which one it is.  When the plant loses its leaves this fall, they will all look the same.

     I imagine a whole bush with leaves like this.  The pattern looks almost like an aerial photograph- with fields and forests.  I might have to name it something that pertains to maps- if it turns out to be a keeper, that is.   

Getting Hit With the Different Stick

I once worked with a student who had a whole stack of unusual health issues.  I'd list them, but they are so unique that I should keep my mouth shut about them for the sake of confidentiality.

I used to say that he got hit with "the different stick"- a play on the expression to get "hit with the ugly stick".   It wasn't meant in a negative way...  I was just amazed at the chances of being that different in that many ways.  I've often felt that way, myself.

A former coworker once visited my garden, and I pointed out a raspberry sport that I had found with gold foliage.  "How did you even see that?" he asked.  He said that he would have assumed it was sick and pulled it out.  He then went on to observe our respective attitudes toward students with cognitive differences.  He said that he was more like to look at what was "wrong" with a student- whereas I was more likely to think, "what a wonderful mutation!"

I think he was on to something.

I was hit with the different stick a few times, myself.  This summer, I've been dealing with a mutation that I have.  I figured Id talk about that this time :)

This is a picture of my fouth great grandmother.  Notice her left eye.  The condition is known as ptosis.  It has a few different causes.  I don't know if hers is the same as mine or not.  I have another female ancestor on the other side of my family who had the same issue.  I don't recall if it was in the other eye or not :)

I have ptosis in both eyelids.  Mine was caused by the my eyelid muscles failing to develop when I was a baby.

When I was a kid, I was able to raise my eyelids by raising my eyelids.  You can't get them very far open that way, so I always had very droopy eyelids.  When I was 14, I had surgery to correct it.  The doctor used silicone slings to tie my eyelids up to my eyebrow muscles.  I can raise my lids by raising my eyebrows.  It still doesn't look all that natural, but I have a much larger field of vision.

Over the past few years, the sling in my left eye failed.  I couldn't open that eye very far, and my peripheral vision was getting pretty restricted.  I finally mentioned it to the doctor, and I was scheduled for surgery to repair it.

The procedure was performed while I was conscious, but sedated.  I can't say it was pleasant :)

The doctor made an incision across my eyelid, and then stitched the silicone band to the tarsis (the firmer, inside tissue of the eyelid).  Then, he used HUGE needles to thread the silicone under the skin to the small incisions above my eyebrow.  The doctor actually complained about how dull the needles were several times.  At one point, they had to increase the tranquilizer they were giving me, because it started to hurt a lot.

It healed up fairly quickly, and it looks better than the other eyelid does.  I almost want the right one to fail so I can have him redo it :)

Another Douglas Fir Broom

This summer has been a crazy one.  As is too often the case, I haven't made it out into the wilds much.  I have been working on my house- which really needed some maintenance.

In the meantime, I thought I'd share some pictures of a Douglas fir broom that I found several years ago.  It would take another crazy snowmobile trip to get scions in the winter, and I'm not sure I'm up for that.  Maybe I will try an autumn graft of it one of these years.  It is kind of cute, and seems to be worth propagating.  

I think I've said this before, but it seems that this species- Pseudotsuga menziesii- seems to throw brooms much more often than other species.  This is true of both the coastal variety- var menziesii, and the interior form- var glauca (which is what this broom is).  I have to wonder if the other species in Southern California and in Asia are prone to brooms as well.  

The new groth looks kind of nice.  

I'm Still Alive

Wow.  It has been nearly a year since I have written a new post.  How do our lives get so busy?

I haven't done as much plant hunting as I would like.  During the past year, I worked a LOT.

Even so, I have found a few things.

Tonight, I was walking through a park in Portland, and I came across this broom in an incense cedar- Calocedrus decurans.  Much of it was dead- which frequently happens to brooms that are lower on the tree.  If it were propagated and given good care, I have to wonder what it would look like.  I'm guessing it would be a fastigiate form that might make a good tree for commercial landscaping purposes.

There is only one way to find out :)

Broom in a Plum Tree

I noticed this broom last winter. It is by the side of the freeway.  At first, I thought it was in a hawthorne.  Upon closer inspection, however, I found that it was in a plum tree.  The broom seems to be sterile- there were no flowers in it.  A non-blooming plum tree seems pretty worthless as an ornamental, but I think I will try propagating it anyway.  I will likely graft it high on the rootstock, so that it will look like a giant lollipop.  

On the Hunt for Gold

A few years ago, my friend Don Howse told me about a golden noble fir that he found in the late 90s.  Don is conifer person who is widely known in conifer circles.  His nursery, Porterhowse farms, has been one of the go-to places for specialty conifers in the US for decades.

When Don told me about this tree, he mentioned that he found it while going into the bushes to go pee.  He jokingly said that it should be called 'Golden Showers'.  Of course, I love goofy names for plants, so I decided that I would try to propagate this one.  The tree is in the central Oregon Cascades, so it is a bit of drive to get there for me.  I hadn't made it down there.

A few weeks ago, when I went to get the cuttings from the juniper broom, I noticed that there was no snow in the pass.  I almost drove down to the gold noble fir that day, but I didn't have the directions with me.  Instead, I tried on Sunday.  During the drive and the hike, I thought a lot about the state of my life, and how it has been affected by my emotions.  I don't know what follows is going to make sense, but I'm going to relate some of what I was thinking.

Sunday was probably my only day off for the next few weeks.  I'm currently working three jobs-  60 - 70 hours per week.

Let me explain that.  It is going to involve talking about my ex boyfriend, so please bear with me :)

There have been a few times in my life when I've felt trapped, financially and vocationally.  I can point to the series of decisions that I made that led to these traps, but many of the factors were out of my control.  In the past few weeks, I've had a bit of an attitude change.  I have decided to get really serious about pulling myself up by my bootstraps.  Oddly enough, this was inspired by my ex.

I can think of a number of examples of people in my life who have been...  what is the nice way of saying it?    In the extreme, we are talking about sociopathy.  This isn't the extreme, however.  These people, including my ex boyfriend, one or two former coworkers, and perhaps only one friend, lean in that direction on the spectrum.  If they lean in the direction of sociopathy, I probably lean in the direction of histrionics.  But those are the extremes.

In my case, I can have emotional reactions to events in my life that are pretty disabling.  Two and a half years ago, my job was dismantled, and the resulting fall-out make me act out in all sorts of strange ways.  I've been trying to recover (financially and emotionally) ever since.

On the other end of things...  I know these people who are able to down-regulate their emotional states in ways that are beyond my capacity.  The trouble is that sometimes they do this at the expense of the people around them.  I think that have less emotion in general also comes with less empathy for others, so I don't think they really notice when they throw other people under the bus to regulate their emotions.  Examples of this are my friend who used to put key-logging software on his girlfriend's computer. he would read her email in order to keep tabs on her, and he seemed to have no compunction or remorse about doing so.

My ex boyfriend would treat me unkindly (sometimes in puzzling and strange ways) in order to manipulate the level of intimacy in the relationship.  The fact that he was really hurting me didn't really register-  he was just doing what he needed to do.

There is something magical
about an icy mountain cataract.

I think that in the US, with its current political climate of hyper-capitalism, people with that temperament thrive.  Both my friend and my ex-boyfriend are quite successful in their corporate jobs.  When I think about how either of them would have handled what happened to me two and a half years ago, I am sure that neither of them would have left the job.  They would have down-regulated their emotional reaction to the job (assuming that it was very strong to begin with) and they would have put their financial security above any emotional concerns in the priority list.

A few weeks ago, I starting thinking about just borrowing a page from their playbooks.  What if I just put my emotions aside and just did whatever was necessary to take care of myself, financially?  So far (and it has only been a few weeks) it has been oddly freeing.  I am not attached to the outcomes of my jobs, and I'm not particularly worried about the quality of my work.  I do the best that I can, and I ask for what I need to do my jobs...  but beyond that, I just don't think about it.

I have started a night job at a large retail chain store.  This pretty much eats up all of my free time, so getting out in the woods isn't going to be happening much for a while.  When I got down there, I had to stop a few miles short of the tree.  The snow was getting to be too much for my car, so I parked and tried walking the last 5 miles or so.  After a couple of miles, I could tell that it just wasn't going to happen.  If I had full weekends, I could go down to that gold tree and do an overnight hike in to it.  I have a warm sleeping bag and a tent, so I could do some snow camping.  I look forward to visiting that area.  There are different species of conifers down there- notably Abies concolor- that don't grow as far north as my usual haunts.  I suspect that there may be other surprises waiting for me :)

The first Abies concolor tree
I've ever seen in the wild.

Right now, however, I am letting my emotions (and the things about which I am passionate) take a back seat.  The tree will have to wait until the fall.  This might be the only year for a long time when I could get scions in late winter, but it isn't going to work out.  Fall grafts are harder to do, but I have no choice.

The trip was not a loss, however.  The views of the mountains and the snow-covered trees were well worth the drive.